what's in my heart...

hm..

I was kind of unhappy when I'm not part of the happenings around me. For example, last Sunday, I didn't even know of a party till someone told me. Everyone around me was happily discussing and planning for the later event. By the way I've responded to my friend, he got a pretty good hint that I was kind of hurt.

I was thinking, hey maybe they have taken to the account that I'm booking in later at night. But then, I felt disrespected. Still shouldn't they tell me about it, like ask me even though they already knew I'm not going?

Nowadays, I dun feel belong to the cg. Maybe it is me being too sensitive, but sometimes I wonder will people forget me when my service is not required and only realized it when they need me again? I've reached to a stage where I'm just trying to let go of all responsibilities. When there is something else to attend to, i'll go - that kind of feeling.. Is this a plan from God, or a mistake by man?

The upside of the day: I bought new guitar strings and tuner for my guitar. I'm quite happy about it. love the sound of new strings, those bright sounds...

I should talk to someone abt it.

This kind of feeling I've felt makes me not want to have a gf. so this is like the first time I dun feel like getting attached even though i know i shouldn't.. I think I really need to get my life back on track..

Note to Self: Learn from mistakes made, not learn to avoid doing things so that you won't make a mistake.